Archive for June, 2011

Grief, Loss, and Support

Sunday, June 19th, 2011

Supporting someone that is suffering from grief or the loss of a loved one can be very confusing and tough.  You may be afraid of intruding, saying the wrong thing, or making the person feel even worse. Or maybe you feel there’s little you can do to make things better. Don’t let discomfort prevent you from reaching out to someone who is grieving.  Here are some tips to help you provide the best support that you can:

 What to do:

  • Acknowledge the situation: “I heard that your_____ died.” Use the word “died” That will show that you are more open to talk about how the person really feels.
  • Express your concern: “I’m sorry to hear that this happened to you.”
  • Ask how he or she feels, and don’t assume you know how the bereaved person feels on any given day.
  • I know how you feel.” One can never know how another may feel. You could, instead, ask your friend to tell you how he or she feels.
  • “He’s in a better place now.” The bereaved may or may not believe this. Keep your beliefs to yourself unless asked.
  • Be genuine in your communication and don’t hide your feelings: “I’m not sure what to say, but I want you to know I care.”
  • Offer your support:  ”Tell me what I can do for you.”

 What NOT to do:

  • Don’t force someone to publicly mourn if he or she doesn’t want to.
  • Don’t give false or confusing messages, like “Grandma is sleeping now.”
  • Don’t tell someone to stop crying because others might get upset.
  • Don’t try to shield a child from the loss. Children pick up on much more than adults realize. Including them in the grieving process will help them adapt and heal.
  • Don’t stifle your tears; By crying in front of others, you send the message that it’s okay for him or her to express feelings, too.
  • Don’t turn your child into your personal confidante.  Rely on another adult or a support group instead.

If a grieving friend or family member talks about suicide, get professional help right away. IN A LIFE-THREATENING EMERGENCY, CALL 911.

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Posted in Depression, Family & Parenting, Personal Growth | 1 Comment »

Facebook Depression

Sunday, June 12th, 2011

 

“Another potential risk of social media has been dubbed ‘Facebook depression.’ When preteens and teens spend too much time on social media sites, they may begin to show classic signs of depression, such as changing sleep and eating habits, experiencing mood swings, hanging out with different friends or becoming socially isolated” says Dr. Gween of Pediatrics Now

 It is no surprise to anyone that children and teens are spending more time than ever before on the internet using social media such as Facebook, Twitter, and Chatroulette.  But just what are these outlets doing to the mental heath of our children?  In the past year, there has been several cases in which teenagers have taken their own lives due to bullying and responses by members of these social networking websites. 

What is “Facebook Depression”?

Facebook allows users to showcase their lives, from achievements to travel photos to parties. The depression creeps in when teenagers start comparing themselves to their friends.  Why can’t my family go on a vacation like his? Why is my boyfriend in pictures with other girls? How come she got a new car for her Sweet Sixteen? Experts have agreed that social media sites exacerbate envy and jealousy due to the pressures of the “my life is an open book” appeal of social networking.

What can parents do?

Parents should be actively involved in their teen’s social life, both offline and online. Encourage your teen to get off the Internet once in awhile and do activities outside the house to avoid the temptation of returning to the computer.  Get them to join clubs or encourage them to get into a sport or learn to play a musical instrument. It is important that your teen understand that there should be a balance in his or her life. It is important that parents keep an open line of communication with their teens, just as their teens enjoy a sense of openness with their friends.

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Posted in Depression, Family & Parenting, Self-esteem | No Comments »

Don’t Put it Off Any Longer

Monday, June 6th, 2011

        Do you always feel like you are completing assignments or running errands at the last very moment? We put things off because we don’t want to do them, or because we have too many other things that we value to be more important. Putting things off—big or small—is part of being human. Procrastination can have external consequences such as a poor grade or internal consequences like anxiety.  However, when procrastination leads to discouragement and stress it is time to take action.

        By creative a productive environment, you will be able to complete your work without distractions.  If you have a laptop, go someplace where you can’t connect to the Internet. With no Internet, you will not be distracted by social media or youtube videos. If you have left your assignments until the last minute, chances are many things will annoy you.  Don’t risk frustrating yourself even more by trying to write in an environment that doesn’t meet your needs.

        Stop using diversions as an excuse.  A common procrastination tool is, “I can’t function in a messy environment.” Thus, the assignment is procrastinated longer until other tasks are completed such as cleaning and organizing.  If, when faced with a writing project, you start piling up prerequisites for all the things you must do before you can possibly start writing, you will only create more anxiety and stress for yourself. Many people say, “I do my best work under pressure”.  There are lots of other ways to create pressure for yourself, besides waiting until the night before the paper is due to start writing it. You can set a time limit for yourself or pretend that the paper is a timed essay exam. If you do this in advance, it will be possible to complete a draft and proofread it before the assignment is actually do. 

         Try making a schedule in which you can break down your task into manageable bits.  Set a time limit for yourself.  If you determine an exact date which you should have your task completed by, it is more likely that you will adhere to that deadline.

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Posted in Anxiety, Personal Growth | No Comments »