Have you ever gotten into an argument and stayed angry much longer than the person who offended you? Then, when you saw him or her appearing happy and free, your blood boiled even more at the thought of how quickly he or she could just move on without an apology or a resolution. The angrier you became at the thought of the offense, the angrier you grew at yourself for not being able to let it go. Sometimes we have difficulty “letting go” of a grudge because we think we’re letting someone off the hook or doing someone a favor by moving on. Instead, we should realize that when we forgive, it is not only for the sake of the offender; forgiveness is also for our benefit.

Why Is Forgiveness Beneficial?

• When you forgive, you release the hold that resentment and anger have on you.
• When you forgive, you open yourself to recognize and receive happiness/emotional peace.
• When you forgive, you regain your ability to live and appreciate what is occurring in the moment rather than living in the past.
• When you forgive, you allow yourself to build a new future that is not tainted by past hurts and offenses.

Keep in mind, forgiveness does not necessarily mean condoning hurtful behavior. It is, however, a gift (for yourself) that keeps on giving.

Dr. Monique Griffith and Dr. Marisa Hammock

1. Leave a note in your significant other’s lunch bag, saying something like, “I love you” or I’m thinking of you right this very moment.”
2. Text your partner throughout the day. Let him/her know he/she is on your mind, even though you are in the middle of a busy workday or taking care of the children.
3. Leave at least 10 minutes before you fall asleep at night. Hold each other’s hands, even if you are not talking.
4. Say ‘Thank you” to your significant other for at least one thing every day.
5. Compliment your partner before he/she leaves the house for work. A compliment goes a long way. Encourage one another.
6. Show interest in your partner’s day.
7. Give your partner a meaningful hug. A hug of about 20 seconds or longer releases oxytocin, a chemical that helps you bond and connect!
8. Get up or turn toward your partner when they walk in after a workday. Say hello and give them a kiss, even if just for a second.
9. Make eye contact.
10. Laugh together. Sharing a laughable moment with your significant other improves your connection and hey, let’s face it, laugher feels great!

Remember, small connections add up to much bigger rewards. Get connected. Stay connected!

-Dr. Marisa Hammock and Dr. Monique Griffith

1. Don’t leave all the chores for Sunday. This is bound to leave you downcast on a Sunday afternoon.  Try to get in the habit of pushing yourself during the other days of the week (as hard as it might be) to get the laundry done and do the grocery shopping or whatever chores may be on your list. You may want to leave an hour or two on a Saturday to run a few errands but if you leave the brunt of them for Sunday it is no wonder you are feeling in the dumps!
2. Wish it was Sunday, ‘Cuz That’s My Fun day’. Find something fun to do on Sunday afternoons or nights. For example, you may choose to make Sunday nights a girl’s night out or a family dinner in or game night or movie night. Whatever you choose, you are ending the weekend on a positive note!
3. Exercise! I know we have listed this one in previous blogs; however, take heed of that! There is certainly a reason it keeps coming up! Exercise is one of the best ways to improve mood and positively impact mild depression. Don’t think Arnold or even Jane. Walking is a great way to get going. Bring music, your dog or a friend / spouse and it could be a great stress reliever as well!
4. Plan to unwind. Many people do not want to overcommit themselves on a Sunday night, as they really just want to unwind and prepare for the week ahead.  You can still set aside Sunday night to do something positive for yourself. For example, if you enjoy cooking, use the freedom and time of a Sunday evening to explore new recipes! Another suggestion is to set aside a half hour or so and journal or reflect on the positives of your weekend.
5. There is a Time for ‘Yes’ and a Time for ‘No’.  Learn to differentiate between when it is appropriate to say ‘yes’ and when it is okay to say ‘no’.  Try not to overcommit yourself to activities and obligations on the weekends.  Sure, we all have things we have and want to get done regarding ourselves and our families but realize it is okay to decline an invitation now and again, even if it is for your children.  A cup of coffee from McDonalds:  $0.99, a gym membership: $30.00 a month, a balanced life: PRICELESS.
6. Manic Monday. We know the song and relate to the lyrics: “Just another Manic Monday”.  Monday mornings can certainly be hectic. But is can be very beneficial to give yourself a tiny treat on a Monday morning before the work week begins. For example, make Monday mornings the one day of the week you stop for a special Mocha Latte Chocolata from the expensive coffee shop. Ps.  We do not suggest you do this daily.

You’ve made it through the holidays and even though you handled family interrogations about your relationship status with grace, your patience is slowly wearing thin. Why? It’s February and everywhere you turn you’re faced with people and organizations that have assumed the role of cupid. It’s the time of year that, more than any other month, you’re reminded about love, your single status and you grow more on edge the closer the 14^th gets. You can’t seem to make it through a television show or errand without seeing heart-shaped candy, images of cupid or signs that read “Be Mine” or “I Love You”.

Now, you know that you’re not the only single person in the world, but as Valentine’s Day approaches, it feels that way. You try to remind yourself that as a single person, you’re probably even in the majority but it’s hard to treat this day or month as any other. You try to figure out why not all of your single friends feel the way you do but you’re having trouble. So, we’re here to help you figure out how to enjoy this Valentine’s Day as a single individual.

Remember, you can make this Valentine’s Day anything you choose! Make it a day to celebrate YOU and all the good things in your life!

By Dr. Monique & Dr. Marisa

Of course, we need to be clear. Accepting your unique characteristics and imperfections is not a license to give up and not put effort into developing yourself or doing your best. However, it is a license to change your perspective.

Tips for Overcoming Perfectionism

• Become Your Best Advocate..instead of your worst critic, by identifying your strengths rather than focusing on your flaws. Focusing on your flaws will only create stress and weaken your resolve for achieving your goals. Recognizing your strengths will energize you. Realize you have both, as we all do.
• You’re You-nique. Embrace yourself, flaws and all and consider how you’re perceived flaws make you unique rather than hinder you. How do your flaws make you more intriguing?
• You are a Work in Progress. Who you are now is not necessarily who you will be because as you progress through and experience life, you are likely to evolve.  Accept yourself as you are, but always focus on moving forward. Acceptance doesn’t necessarily mean to agree; it means you find contentment where you are before you get to where you want to be.
• Give Credit Where Credit is Due. Perfectionistic people are often not satisfied with a grade of 97%. Rather than focusing on and celebrating the 97%, these kinds of people focus on and exaggerate the severity of the incorrect 3%. Learn to give yourself credit on your successes rather than magnifying your failures.
• Focus on Self-Esteem.  Underneath perfectionism lies a fear, a fear that we are not good enough, unacceptable or unlovable and the only way to account for that is to outwardly and earnestly strive to be perfect. Unfortunately, this has an alternative outcome because the more we strive to be perfect, the more we fail.
• Good Enough is Enough. Challenge your perception. Whatever you deem as perfect, back it down 5 notches and strive for that! Think of it this way. If you were a basketball player who wanted to slam dunk a 20 foot hoop (yes, we realize this is extreme; our point exactly) yet, you are 5 ft  tall, you cannot possibly succeed unless the hoop was lowered to 8ft at least!
• Focus on a Destination You Can Reach. Since there is not one person who is perfect, the road to perfectionism is never-ending and therefore, can never truly be reached.

Remember, there is only one you, so be the best you that you can be.

Dr. Monique and Dr. Marissa

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An important factor to consider is your perception of the stressor itself. A good example of this is wedding planning.  Anyone who has planned a wedding or even helped plan a wedding is aware of the stress it can bring. However, bride’s reaction’s and perceptions range from pure bliss to bridezillaville. The way we perceive, interpret and react to an event can make a mountain out of a molehill or… a molehill out of a mountain.

We all experience stress and stress exhibits itself in many different ways. Stress can result in physical symptoms (e.g., high blood pressure, tightened muscles, increased heart rate) and emotional symptoms (e.g., increased depression, anxiousness, difficulty focusing). Since everyone experiences stress differently, one specific and global way to bust it does not exist. Be purposeful and patient when trying to determine what stress management strategies will work for you and explore the tips below for guidance.

1. Exercise is the Key. Exercise of any intensity can release endorphins which can be thought of as “feel good” neurotransmitters. Remember, a little exercise can go a long way!
2. Schedule a Funday. We are often in overdrive, piling one thing after the next onto our plate. Try to carve out a “funday” for yourself, a period of time in the week when you can do what you want to do rather than what you need to do. This special time should be free from work, chores and responsibilities. You can invite anyone you choose to join you too!
3. Structure Your Time and Plan Ahead. This can be thought of in opposite terms of “funday”. Plan ahead in your week for chores, responsibilities and errands. You may not be able to allot the same time every week but look ahead as the week progresses and you know your schedule. Carve out time to take care of the necessities of life so that they don’t take over your whole weekend.
4. To Control or Not to Control. It is important to learn what is in your control and what is not. Focus your energy on what you can do something about, rather than wasting energy on that which you cannot.
5. “No” Your Limits… Even Superman had Kryptonite. Over committing yourself can increase your stress, contribute to depression and heighten anxiety. Learn to say, “NO” and realize that it’s okay!
6. Laugh. We all know the saying, Laughter is the best medicine. Laughter can physiologically mimic a mild work out! Refer to Tip #1! PS. The fact that laughing may also burns some calories may even be an added bonus!
7. Get Out of Your Head and Breathe. Learn some deep breathing exercises. This not only helps refocus your thoughts but actually employs physiological changes, such as decreasing heart rate and blood pressure.
8. Get Out. “Move a muscle, change a thought”. By doing something else than what you are currently doing, your mindset and focus will inevitably change as well.
9. Listen to Music. Music has an incredible ability to alter our mood. Music can energize us, motivate us, and give us an undeniable natural high. It can also calm us and give us sense of peace and comfort. Choose the right song and you will be engaging in one of the greatest stress busters of all time!
10. Reward Yourself. Set goals and rewards for yourself. This can be very beneficial in keeping you motivated throughout the process of managing stress!

Dr. Marisa and Dr. Monique

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We are often on digital overload; however, there are many benefits to disconnecting from the digital world, even for a small portion of time. As you sit browsing your newsfeed, checking emails and using apps on your cell phone, think about these helpful points on the benefits of disconnecting and simplifying your digital life.

• Set Limits to Restore Balance. We live and work in a digital world. Although you may not be able to disconnect completely, setting limits is one way to restore work-life balance. For example, ban yours and your family’s cell phones at the dinner table.

• Improve Sleep. According to numerous recent studies, using electronics before bed can disrupt your sleep, leaving you feeling tired the next day. Consider establishing an electronic ban in bed as one of your limits for a more restful and restorative sleep.

• Improve Relationships. We are often so focused on our electronic devices that we forget who is around us, and even more so, we forget to actually communicate with them. Additionally, when we ‘communicate’, it the quality of communication is poor because either we’re engrossed in our cell phones or relying on texts, posts, and emails to connect with others. Disconnect electronic devices and reconnect with loved ones.

• Vacation Time. Think of unplugging as a mini-vacation, a magical place where there are no emails in your inbox, no messages in your voicemail, and it is NOT your turn in ‘Words with Friends’ or ‘Ruzzle’.  Take a break from the typing and decompress.

• Keep Focused. It is hard to stay focused on anything when every two seconds your alerts are capturing your attention.  Allow yourself a specified amount of time ie) 30 minutes, without checking your phone. Focus on what you are doing and give it your undivided attention, whether it is playing catch with your son/daughter, chatting about your day with your spouse, or taking a morning walk.

• Sharpen your vision. Regrets keep you bound to your past while vision propels you into your future. Therefore, develop a vision for yourself/your life and set goals.
• Prioritize. Figure out what emotional habits you continue to engage in that instead of drawing you closer to realizing your vision, pull you further away. Then, before diving head first into cleaning the nooks and crannies of your emotional space, place the habits in order of significance.
• Finish what you start. Tackle one ‘emotional project’ at a time.
• Keep Dirt Out. Anyone who struggles with keeping their house clean knows that it is wiser to expend energy on keeping ‘dirt’ out instead of cleaning the dirt after it builds up. So, reduce the amount of emotional dirt that enters your mental and emotional space by not entertaining negative opinions and pessimistic thoughts.
• Don’t settle for a quick fix. Any lasting change that you would like to see takes time to achieve. So, don’t rush! Take your time to ensure you are heading in the direction of your desired destination.
• Try keeping a journal. Writing can be very therapeutic and cathartic, allowing you to purge negative or painful emotions.  Keep in mind, it is not always the length of each journal entry but the honesty and candidness which can be part of the cleansing process.
• Learn to Let Go…whether it’s with your own self or a life situation.  One significant aspect to emotional cleansing is the let go and accept the past.  Remember, accepting does not mean agreeing. You can disagree or dislike an event or circumstance but still come to an acceptance of its occurrence.
• Learn the difference between what is within your control and what is not.  Break things down until you can identify the part of it that is in your control.   Learn to distinguish the difference.
• Don’t spend time expelling energy on what is not within your control.
• Learn to forgive. If not for the other person, for yourself. There is a saying by Budda, “Holding on to anger is like a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one getting burned.”
• Organize your physical environment. Whether this is in your home or your work space, physical cleanliness and organization often bring a sense of inner tranquility and comfort. It can reduce anxiety and provide internal peace.

5.  New Year’s resolutions are typically too overwhelming! Many people make resolutions that involve major life changes that need to be accomplished by the end of the year. Then, when faced with the large task, the commitment waivers in the face of stress, anxiety and frustration. So, remember, in order to create lasting change, it is important to set challenging, yet realistic goals that you can incorporate into your daily life without feeling like you’re being deprived or overwhelmed.

4.  Resolutions resemble cookies….What? Okay, let me explain.  You are at a party and you see your favorite oatmeal raisin cookie. You say to yourself, “no, I am going to be ‘good’ and not have any cookies tonight.” A little while later, when the cookie is eying you from the opposite side of the room, you say, “Okay, well I will just have one cookie. That is it.” You do well with that one cookie but somehow as the night is progressing, you are physically and emotionally DRAWN to another oatmeal raisin cookie! At that moment, all caution is thrown to the wind and you gobble six cookies! You tell yourself  you fell off the wagon; you might as well “go all out” tonight and eat as many oatmeal raisin cookies as you can consume.  Most of us have been here a time or two.   One slip up and we abandon all previously stated goals, desires and hopes.  Resolutions tend to put us in this all or nothing mind set and along the way we forget that set backs are normal and natural but somehow, instead, they tend to leave us feeling discouraged, dissatisfied and hopeless and we resort back to our pre-resolution behaviors just like that.  It is always a good idea to allow for, even expect setbacks at times but be mindful not to allow yourself to feel completely defeated or overcome by such setbacks.

3. Resolutions can leave you feeling unsuccessful and hopeless.  About 80-90% of New Year’s resolutions fail.  Those are not great statistics for self-accomplishment.   Focus your energy and mind on something that has a higher success rate and as you accomplish each task, watch as your sense of accomplishment soars!

2. We often set resolutions that are too broad.  Let’s take some of the most common New Year’s resolutions as an example. “Lose weight” and “eat healthier” are among the most common resolutions set each year by millions of people.  Maybe you have even set these once or twice!  The problem arises because these, although great goals, are extremely broad.  Let’s take “eat healthier”; what does that exactly mean? Eat more fruit and veggies? Eat fewer sweets? Cut calories? All of the above?  The most effective way to set goal and maintain steps toward reaching those goals is the identify very achievable, realistic and specific steps to accomplishing whatever it is you desire to change in your life!

1. Each day is a new beginning that offers you the opportunity to reflect on the decisions that were made the previous day. Each day you awake, is a day to be thankful and set daily, realistic goals. As you decide to focus on making each choice more positive or healthy, you’ll realize that over time, your life and habits will change without the pressure of a daunting resolution.

We challenge you NOT to make any New Year’s resolutions and have a happy, healthy and prosperous New Year!

Dr. Monique and Dr. Marisa

Throughout pregnancy it is important to identify core issues that may have impacted your own growth and development. Being mindful of your own emotional wellbeing and beginning a therapeutic journey may help you throughout your new journey to motherhood. Exploring past issues and resolving them before the baby arrives can put you at a greater advantage to bond and create secure attachment with your baby.

Mindfulness is the first key. As mothers, we have intuition about our babies and their needs. We need to turn on that intuition early in pregnancy and turn it towards ourselves. This can help us to identify where we need to concentrate in terms of our own mental health.

Identifying past issues and resolving them can help create a more stable environment for when your baby arrives. Do you and your partner continuously have the same fight? Do you never get along with your in laws? These are things that are important to work on now! Family and those peripheral relationships are the backbone for your child’s life. Increasing positive familial relationships will help give you support throughout your pregnancy and love and support when the baby arrives.

Trust yourself. Pregnancy is a rollercoaster of emotions and hormones. It is important to trust in your decisions that led you to this point. Trust in your partner and family members, and most importantly, trust yourself. Whether you wanted to be in this situation or not, if you have decided to stay, stay. Make smart choices and follow through. This will increase your perseverance and improve your motherhood qualities in the future.

Cultivate a positive mindset. It is hard to think positive when your bloated, gaining weight, nauseous, sore, or all of the above. However, our mindset can be directly correlated to how we feel. Utilizing positive affirmations can increase our productivity and get us through a tough day. Creating your own personal affirmations is a crucial piece of the puzzle. Where do your thoughts turn negative? Turn those negative thoughts into positive ‘I’ statements to generate healthy and positive feelings. As your baby grows, it will notice the difference between a happy womb and an unhappy womb.

All of these tools can help improve mental health from the beginning of pregnancy. In turn, it will help you put your best foot forward into the realm of motherhood. It is important to prepare yourself physically and mentally for the changes that life is bringing you. Utilizing these tools will help create a positive atmosphere for your growing baby to thrive.

KC Putterman LMHC,HC

KC Putterman LMHC,HC

There are many types of phobias. Social phobia is the fear of social situations that may involve scrutiny or judgment by others. Specific phobia includes many different fears. Some examples are fear of certain animals, bridges, claustrophobia (tight spaces), heights, bridges, tunnels, hydrophobia (fear of water) agoraphobia (fear of open spaces and going outside), and many more. Many People suffer from these fears on a daily basis. So how do we conquer our fears?

The most evidenced based practice is by cognitive behavioral therapy. Utilizing behavior modification and cognitive techniques you can change your thoughts and behaviors, thus, making you less fearful of whatever your fear may be.

For many phobias, it is often helpful to utilize desensitization and exposure therapy. This helps you change your response to the situation or stimuli that you fear by gradually exposing you to that fear. Gradual and repeated exposure can help reduce the anxiety associated with your fear. This method should only be done with support from a healthcare professional. (Don’t try this at home kids!). Taking small steps in the right direction can help promote a less fearful outlook towards the stimuli.

For most phobias, Cognitive behavioral therapy is a more comprehensive approach of therapy. It incorporates the behavioral aspect of exposure and includes learning ways to cope with the feared object and anxiety. With your therapist you can learn alternate ways to view your fear and explore automatic thoughts and beliefs that may have been associated with your phobia. These automatic thoughts may have been contributing to increased fear of the stimuli. By exploring these beliefs you can create awareness and open yourself up to new thoughts. Then you can develop a sense of mastery and control over your thoughts and feelings.

Combining desensitization and cognitive techniques is a great way to treat phobias. Another cognitive technique used is the hierarchy. A hierarchy is a list that you create that quantifies your fears from less fearful to most fearful. This is a great way to start treatment of phobias because it puts into perspective how fearful a situation or stimuli might be. You start addressing the least fearful first and work your way to the top. This also makes the treatment more palatable because you are treating each situation on its own.

Relaxation techniques such as visualization, imagery, and deep breathing are also used in conjunction with behavioral approaches to treatment. These techniques are utilized throughout the desensitization process to help calm and control the person with the phobia. They are helpful throughout the therapeutic process.

Utilizing Cognitive Behavioral techniques combined with support from family and friends can help treat most phobias. Letting your family and support system be aware of your phobia so they can support and encourage is helpful to keeping the therapeutic process working outside of the therapeutic environment. Conquering a fear is one of the toughest things to accomplish, but also the most empowering.

KC Putterman LMHC,HC

Meditation is a complex process of slowing down your breathing and your mind. It is not an easy feat to accomplish. The definition of meditation is the emptying of the mind of thoughts, or the concentration of the mind on one thing, in order to aid mental or spiritual development, contemplation or relaxation.

Meditation can bring about spiritual transformation. This can help improve your overall mental health. Learning ways to channel your thoughts can help reduce aggression and violence and increase nurturing and loving environments. Here are some easy tools to help you begin your meditation practice:

1. Pick soft music. You can buy or download relaxation cd’s or create your own with soft melodic music. The music must be melody only. No words.
2. Sit comfortably. If cross legged is your most comfortable position that is fine, if it’s not, pick a sitting position that you feel comfortable in. Try to achieve a balanced posture.
3. Close your eyes. It is easier to concentrate if your eyes are closed. You can become in tune with your consciousness by closing your eyes and listening to your inner thoughts.
4. Experience what is around you. Use all your five senses to distinguish your environment and focus solely on this.
5. Incorporate deep breathing. Inhale for five counts and exhale for five counts. (Yes it is that easy to breathe). Utilize your deep breathing as a way to measure your tranquility. Inhale your thoughts and feelings and exhale your worry. Continue this process for up to 5 minutes (the length of meditation is solely based on what you want to achieve).
6. Utilize visualization techniques to focus on something. Whether it is a crystal ball, sunset on a beach, or the Rocky Mountains. Visualize a particular place and concentrate on that place alone.
7. Involve all the five senses into your visualization so you can truly experience it. Touch it, taste it, smell it, see it, hear it. Let yourself sit with this until you feel calm. (Length of visualization varies from person to person).
8. Slowly open your eyes, continuing your deep breathing, and re engage with the world.

Now you can incorporate these easy steps to help begin your meditation practice. You may be surprised what a difference it can make. Meditation helps put your life into perspective so you can focus on what really matters. Take some time out of your busy schedule to meditate today and reap the benefits that yogi’s have been gaining for years.

KC Putterman LMHC,HC

The process of psychotherapy is to help people get “unstuck”. Whether it is working through a trauma, divorce, sickness, or day to day activities; the process unfolds insight and increases awareness into the self. People are able to gain a better understanding of their own behavior and issues. Then they are able to identify their feelings and motivate themselves to be a better person. Therapy helps improve overall health and well being. This in turn can translate into increased self confidence and productivity which can let people live up to their full potential.

People at any age can benefit from the process and experience of therapy. The old adage “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks” is not something that translates into counseling. Increasing awareness and insight can in turn create new affects, behaviors, and cognitions.
S

ometimes in our lives we just need someone to talk to. A therapist’s job is to provide active listening and unconditional empathy. Where else in your life do you have a one way relationship devoted 110% to you? Most relationships provide a selfish need. The relationship between therapist and patient is for the pure benefit of the patient. This creates a safe space for the patient to explore their feelings without fear of upsetting the person they are speaking to. This therapeutic alliance can give the patient confidence, ease their anxiety, and create space for true identification of their thoughts and beliefs.

By definition psychotherapy is “the treatment of emotional, behavioral, personality, and psychiatric disorders based primarily on verbal and nonverbal communication and interventions with the patient,” Simply put, psychotherapy aims to alleviate psychological distress through talking. This includes, but is not limited to, those with psychiatric conditions. Psychotherapy is a universal treatment that can help improve coping with everyday life.

KC Putterman LMHC,HC

KC Putterman LMHC,HC

Play Therapy is taught from the theoretical approach of “getting on to the child’s level”. By using the child’s own language (i.e. playing), clinicians are able to connect deeper with their clients and provide a positive environment for the therapy to grow.

Children benefit from play therapy by learning how to express their thoughts and feeling in constructive ways. The powerful techniques of this treatment foster decision-making and acceptance of responsibility. It helps teach children problem solving and coping skills for daily stress as well as a practical place for children to explore and practice social skills for appropriate behaviors.

Children are able to learn and explore the ever changing world by having a “safe place” to explore thoughts and concerns. They can learn from their mistakes in this safe setting, which helps to increase confidence and creativity.

Play therapy helps to support emotional healing and growth. It is a non-direct approach that allows the child to have some control over the therapy session. It allows for the clinician and child to work together towards growth and achievement and balances the power dynamic between adult and child.

By utilizing a play therapy approach, it allows the child to not think of therapy as a “punishment”. It creates a safe psychological space where they can explore and grow.

–KC Putterman LMHC, HC

KC Putterman LMHC,HC

High sugar diets may aggravate or potentate disturbances throughout the body, including those that are symptoms of ADHD. By improving overall eating patterns these aggravations can be minimized. There is a significant causal relationship between sugar consumption and children with ADHD. Children with ADHD that consume high sugar diets are shown to have more fluctuations and aggravations in their symptoms. By consuming low carbohydrate foods you can lower the amount of sugar-consumed daily. Incorporating whole grains and complex carbohydrates that take longer to digest can help to sustain blood sugar levels throughout the day. This can in turn help children’s behavior to stay balanced.

Instead of relying on pure sugar for energy, incorporating a steady supply of protein throughout the day can be more beneficial. High quality protein from meat, fish or poultry gives our muscles fuel. Utilizing protein as fuel can help make your body more efficient and improve the body’s chemistry and healing abilities.

Involving leafy green vegetables, calcium, and essential fatty acids is another key ingredient in proper nutrition. Fatty fish (Tuna and Salmon), flax seeds, nuts (walnuts and almonds), low fat yogurts and cheese are important “brain foods”. Spinach and Brussel Sprouts are the “super vegetable of 2012”. Combining all of these suggestions can help stabilize your child’s behavior, provide proper nutrition, and improve brain development. Try implementing these changes with the whole family to improve success.

KC Putterman LMHC,HC

Step 1:
The most important thing when making a Resolution is to KEEP IT SIMPLE. Think of your everyday life and something you want to change. Not something big, but something that you think you can do better. That’s a good place to start.

Step 2:
So many times we try to change things that are complicated or too hard for us. A simple and REALISTIC goal is what will help you succeed in your resolution. Do you want to lose weight? Well maybe 50 lbs isn’t realistic… but maybe 10 is. So carve out a simple and realistic goal and then set out to make an action plan. This will help you plan and organize how you can achieve this goal. (And once you have achieved this goal, you can move onto the next 10 pounds and so on…)

Step 3:
Taking small steps will help keep your motivation for the long haul. A major life change may seem daunting if it’s all at once. But if you give yourself small tasks that lead up to the major goal this will help it become more attainable. Giving weekly or even daily goals can help break down a large resolution so it is more palatable. Along with small steps is to track them. If we can see our progress throughout the year then we are more likely to keep going. Form a spreadsheet or even a blank piece of paper on your desk where you can reference your progress daily or weekly (depending on the goal).

Step 4:
Positive thinking is a MUST. You need to be your own motivator, so it’s important to cut yourself some slack. So you yelled at your spouse when you vowed to control your temper? So you ate that cookie you swore you wouldn’t touch? You can still attain your resolution. There are 364 more days of the year and every day counts. Give yourself positive reinforcement. Utilize positive affirmations in the mirror and say to yourself “I will do this” or “I believe in myself” every day to keep your motivation and encouragement. Research has shown that positive affirmations can help send your brain positive messages that will in turn create a positive mood.

Step 5:
Ask family and friends to join in. This is the reason why group counseling and Alcoholics Anonymous works so well. When we have others to answer to it helps make us accountable. Accountability helps us succeed. It also makes whatever we are working towards more fun. When we have a friend or family member participating in the activity it can boost our motivation and enjoyment. It can also help bring couples and families together. Quality time doing activities that better ourselves can help improve our personal and romantic relationships. The more satisfied we are with ourselves the more satisfied we will be with our relationships as well.

Step 6:
And the most important of all: Reward yourself. When you are working hard at achieving your goals it’s important to give yourself a pat on the back. You’ve been calm all week? Have that extra cookie! You did all your workouts? Sleep in one morning! You haven’t drank alcohol in a month? Do something fun! All work and no play make no one happy. The reason we have New Year’s Resolutions is to better ourselves. If we aren’t happier than we aren’t really better.

Following these simple steps will help create the change you want to make in your life. Let 2012 be the year that you make it happen. Improve those failing relationships, overcome a fear, lose the weight, and try something new! Let yourself shine in the New Year so you can be the person you want to be.

KC Putterman LMHC, HC

Current  research has identified critical personal characteristics that can help young adults as they begin their careers. They discovered three psychological orientations and behaviors that influence employment success during the transition to adulthood: educational aspirations, career goal certainty, and job search activities. 

Young adults who maintained high career aspirations and clarity of career goals from age 18 to 30 were more likely to be employed between 2007 and 2009 (when they were 33-36 years old) and also to have higher wages in 2009. However, young workers uncertain of their career goals were less successful in weathering the economic turmoil.

Recent research has shown that the appeal lies in how video games allow players to adopt desired personality traits, which in turn bolsters their self-esteem.  Studies have investigated the idea that many people enjoy playing video games because it gives them the chance to “try on” characteristics they would like to have as their ideal self.Much research on video games has concentrated on the possible harmful effects, ignoring the simple question of why people actually want to play them.

A key finding in the current study is that having the ability to virtually change identity and acting through the identity (be it hero, sports star, villain, or a different gender) makes people feel better about themselves and less negative. Researchers found that the enjoyment element of the video games seemed to be greater when there was the least overlap between someone’s actual self and their ideal self.

The suggestion that people are using video games as a positive, self-esteem builder instead of a way to escape from themselves is itself significant.

     Women who are more resilient, economically stable, have a strong work ethic, are independent and competent are less likely to suffer from PTSD symptoms.  Researchers have found that resiliency was enhanced if mothers were employed full-time — that is, gainful employment has a positive influence on their children’s recovery from witnessing domestic violence.

     PTSD in adulthood is increased if a child had witnessed the abuse of their mother; among children whose mothers experienced mental problems; and in children who witnessed police involvement in violent incidents. In particular, children of mothers who had mental health problems were more likely to develop PTSD later in life, as were children who witnessed the arrest of family members during violent incidents.  Unlike children, adolescents typically have a greater ability to externalize negative emotions.  In addition to symptoms commonly seen with childhood anxiety (e.g., sleep problems, eating disturbance, nightmares), victims within this age group may show a loss of interest in social activities, low self-concept, withdrawal or avoidance of peer relations, rebelliousness, lashing out at objects, treating pets cruelly or abusively.

     Referrals to the appropriate school personnel could be the first step in assisting your child or teen in need of support. When there is suggestion of domestic violence with a student, consider involving the school psychologist, social worker, or guidance counselor. If your child expresses a desire to talk, provide them with an opportunity to express their thoughts and feelings. In addition to talking, they may be also encouraged to write in a journal, draw, or paint.