You meet a man you’re attracted to while out for dinner with your girlfriends one night, or maybe, your friend sets you up with his girlfriend’s or his wife’s cute friend. You are excited, you’re onboard and you are ready for your first date! You meet up, have a good time at dinner and enjoy the movie. Then, surprisingly, he never calls (even after the 3 day ‘rule’), or as a man, you get up the courage to call to make a second date and she declines! After wondering what happened or what went wrong, you realize that sometimes there is no physical attraction, emotional connection, or certain characteristics you or your date are searching for. Or neither of you feel there is a reason to go out again in hopes of romance.
Dating can be frustrating, but in your search for a compatible significant other, remember these important tips of what to do or not to do on your first date:
- Monitor Your Alcohol Consumption. Stick to a 2 drink maximum. You do not want to come off too sloppy, too promiscuous, or too out of control. You may think it helps calm your nerves but once you cross the line there is no going back. Remain mindful and in control of your drinking on your first date.
- Don’t Be a Chatty Kathy. Show interest in your date but don’t overwhelm him or her by monopolizing the conversation. Try to keep the conversation balanced; give and take in the verbal dialogue. Take time to learn about the person sitting across from you, but also, remember to share about yourself as well.
- Don’t Be Too Quiet. This is your opportunity to talk about yourself also. Value yourself and know that you have something to offer to the conversation. If anxiety is creeping in, you can always excuse yourself and go to the restroom. Take a few deep breaths to manage your anxiety and return to the table refreshed and ready to chat!
- Be Flirty. Many people leave a date having no idea if the other person was “into them”. You are not out with your friend; therefore, if you are interested in your date, show them. Don’t make it a guessing game. Remember, being flirtatious is best done in a subtle rather than overt way!
- Speak Without Saying a Word. Experts say that body language and non-verbal communication makes up approximately 50%-90% of communication. For example, turn your body toward, not away from your date if you are interested and maintain eye contact.
- Be Confident. Remember, he asked you out for a reason and confidence, not arrogance, is attractive.
- Let the Past Be the Past. This is not necessarily the time to discuss past relationships. Yes, the time for that will come, but, first dates are probably not the best time.
We hope you find these tips helpful and happy dating!
Dr. Marisa Hammock and Dr. Monique Griffith