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How to make 2012 the best year yet

Saturday, January 7th, 2012

As a society, we all ring in the New Year with big hopes and dreams and by the end of week 1 we quit. Either our resolutions are too hard, or we slip up on a diet, have unrealistic goals, or we just lack motivation. Here are some tips of how to make this year be the BEST year yet.

Step 1:
The most important thing when making a Resolution is to KEEP IT SIMPLE. Think of your everyday life and something you want to change. Not something big, but something that you think you can do better. That’s a good place to start.

Step 2:
So many times we try to change things that are complicated or too hard for us. A simple and REALISTIC goal is what will help you succeed in your resolution. Do you want to lose weight? Well maybe 50 lbs isn’t realistic… but maybe 10 is. So carve out a simple and realistic goal and then set out to make an action plan. This will help you plan and organize how you can achieve this goal. (And once you have achieved this goal, you can move onto the next 10 pounds and so on…)

Step 3:
Taking small steps will help keep your motivation for the long haul. A major life change may seem daunting if it’s all at once. But if you give yourself small tasks that lead up to the major goal this will help it become more attainable. Giving weekly or even daily goals can help break down a large resolution so it is more palatable. Along with small steps is to track them. If we can see our progress throughout the year then we are more likely to keep going. Form a spreadsheet or even a blank piece of paper on your desk where you can reference your progress daily or weekly (depending on the goal).

Step 4:
Positive thinking is a MUST. You need to be your own motivator, so it’s important to cut yourself some slack. So you yelled at your spouse when you vowed to control your temper? So you ate that cookie you swore you wouldn’t touch? You can still attain your resolution. There are 364 more days of the year and every day counts. Give yourself positive reinforcement. Utilize positive affirmations in the mirror and say to yourself “I will do this” or “I believe in myself” every day to keep your motivation and encouragement. Research has shown that positive affirmations can help send your brain positive messages that will in turn create a positive mood.

Step 5:
Ask family and friends to join in. This is the reason why group counseling and Alcoholics Anonymous works so well. When we have others to answer to it helps make us accountable. Accountability helps us succeed. It also makes whatever we are working towards more fun. When we have a friend or family member participating in the activity it can boost our motivation and enjoyment. It can also help bring couples and families together. Quality time doing activities that better ourselves can help improve our personal and romantic relationships. The more satisfied we are with ourselves the more satisfied we will be with our relationships as well.

Step 6:
And the most important of all: Reward yourself. When you are working hard at achieving your goals it’s important to give yourself a pat on the back. You’ve been calm all week? Have that extra cookie! You did all your workouts? Sleep in one morning! You haven’t drank alcohol in a month? Do something fun! All work and no play make no one happy. The reason we have New Year’s Resolutions is to better ourselves. If we aren’t happier than we aren’t really better.

Following these simple steps will help create the change you want to make in your life. Let 2012 be the year that you make it happen. Improve those failing relationships, overcome a fear, lose the weight, and try something new! Let yourself shine in the New Year so you can be the person you want to be.

KC Putterman LMHC, HC

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Posted in Anxiety, Depression, Family & Parenting, Marriage, Personal Growth, Relationships, Self-esteem, Uncategorized | No Comments »

ADHD Incidence on the Rise

Tuesday, August 23rd, 2011

A recent report by the Center for Disease Control (CDC) in Atlanta released Monday (8/22/2011) suggests that the incidence of ADHD has increased from 6 to 9% over the past several years.  Explanations offered include improved evaluation and detection as well as increased access to qualified mental health providers. At Holtz Psychological Services we pride ourselves in using the latest state of the art tests and evaluation tools to assess and diagnosis attention disorders, and to develop and implement sucessful treatment plans.  If you need assistance with the evaluation or treatment of adult or childhood attention disorders call us NOW!

Posted in ADHD, Family & Parenting | No Comments »

The Skinny on Obesity

Tuesday, July 5th, 2011

        The problem of childhood obesity in the United States has grown considerably in recent years. Between 16 and 33 percent of children and adolescents are obese.  Most people do not know the actual definition of obese.  Children that are a few pounds overweight are not “obese”.  Yes, they may have a tendency to gain weight more easily, but obese children are characterized by at least a 10 percent higher weight than what is recommended for the height and body type.  Obesity  usually begins around the age of 5 to 6 years old. 

      Most people know that obesity is often a biological issue passed down through by genetics.  If your family is affected by obesity, here are a few tips to help tackle weight problems early on in your child’s life:

       – During infancy, try breastfeeding and delay introduction of solid foods as this may help prevent obesity.

       – In early childhood, children should be given healthful, low-fat snacks and take part in vigorous physical activity every day. Their television viewing should be limited to no more than seven hours per week (which includes video games and the Internet).

       – Older children can be taught to select healthy, nutritious foods and to develop good exercise habits. Their time spent watching television and playing with computer or video games should be limited to no more than seven hours each week.

Take a look at these shocking weight facts :

  1. Consumption of just 100 calories (the equivalent of 8 ounces of a soft drink) above daily requirements will typically result in a 10-pound weight gain over one year.
  2. Overweight / Obesity can be caused by some drugs such as hormones, steroids, as well as psychoactive drugs like traditional antidepressants
  3. Obesity is believed to be responsible for 5% of cancer cases

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Grief, Loss, and Support

Sunday, June 19th, 2011

Supporting someone that is suffering from grief or the loss of a loved one can be very confusing and tough.  You may be afraid of intruding, saying the wrong thing, or making the person feel even worse. Or maybe you feel there’s little you can do to make things better. Don’t let discomfort prevent you from reaching out to someone who is grieving.  Here are some tips to help you provide the best support that you can:

 What to do:

  • Acknowledge the situation: “I heard that your_____ died.” Use the word “died” That will show that you are more open to talk about how the person really feels.
  • Express your concern: “I’m sorry to hear that this happened to you.”
  • Ask how he or she feels, and don’t assume you know how the bereaved person feels on any given day.
  • I know how you feel.” One can never know how another may feel. You could, instead, ask your friend to tell you how he or she feels.
  • “He’s in a better place now.” The bereaved may or may not believe this. Keep your beliefs to yourself unless asked.
  • Be genuine in your communication and don’t hide your feelings: “I’m not sure what to say, but I want you to know I care.”
  • Offer your support:  ”Tell me what I can do for you.”

 What NOT to do:

  • Don’t force someone to publicly mourn if he or she doesn’t want to.
  • Don’t give false or confusing messages, like “Grandma is sleeping now.”
  • Don’t tell someone to stop crying because others might get upset.
  • Don’t try to shield a child from the loss. Children pick up on much more than adults realize. Including them in the grieving process will help them adapt and heal.
  • Don’t stifle your tears; By crying in front of others, you send the message that it’s okay for him or her to express feelings, too.
  • Don’t turn your child into your personal confidante.  Rely on another adult or a support group instead.

If a grieving friend or family member talks about suicide, get professional help right away. IN A LIFE-THREATENING EMERGENCY, CALL 911.

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Posted in Depression, Family & Parenting, Personal Growth | 1 Comment »

Facebook Depression

Sunday, June 12th, 2011

 

“Another potential risk of social media has been dubbed ‘Facebook depression.’ When preteens and teens spend too much time on social media sites, they may begin to show classic signs of depression, such as changing sleep and eating habits, experiencing mood swings, hanging out with different friends or becoming socially isolated” says Dr. Gween of Pediatrics Now

 It is no surprise to anyone that children and teens are spending more time than ever before on the internet using social media such as Facebook, Twitter, and Chatroulette.  But just what are these outlets doing to the mental heath of our children?  In the past year, there has been several cases in which teenagers have taken their own lives due to bullying and responses by members of these social networking websites. 

What is “Facebook Depression”?

Facebook allows users to showcase their lives, from achievements to travel photos to parties. The depression creeps in when teenagers start comparing themselves to their friends.  Why can’t my family go on a vacation like his? Why is my boyfriend in pictures with other girls? How come she got a new car for her Sweet Sixteen? Experts have agreed that social media sites exacerbate envy and jealousy due to the pressures of the “my life is an open book” appeal of social networking.

What can parents do?

Parents should be actively involved in their teen’s social life, both offline and online. Encourage your teen to get off the Internet once in awhile and do activities outside the house to avoid the temptation of returning to the computer.  Get them to join clubs or encourage them to get into a sport or learn to play a musical instrument. It is important that your teen understand that there should be a balance in his or her life. It is important that parents keep an open line of communication with their teens, just as their teens enjoy a sense of openness with their friends.

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Posted in Depression, Family & Parenting, Self-esteem | No Comments »

Boost Your Self-Image for Summer

Monday, May 16th, 2011

Whenever something goes wrong in life, we berate ourselves saying, “I’m an idiot. What was I thinking?” We can forgive others for their wrongdoings but why are we so judgemental on ourselves?
When we first heard the word “No” as a child it began a long string of events that continued through childhood as we learned new skills, into adulthood when all of our actions are judged by our bosses, family and friends. Studies have shown that children involved in authority-child interactions have reported 70% more negative feelings with only 30% being a mix of positive and neutral. How do we overcome this destructive self image?

  1. Become aware of your inner voice- when a mistake is made; realize that you are only human. Separate that one events from every other positive action that you have accomplished
  2. Analyze what you are telling yourself- don’t use “I never..” or “I always..”. Absolute terms are irrational and illogical. They do not reflect reality.
  3. Write down your thoughts- it will increase your mental processes so you can understand what your own mind is doing in shaping your vision of the world and yourself

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Mother-Daughter Relationships: Making It Work

Tuesday, February 8th, 2011

            Mother-Daughter relationships are important and unique in a woman’s life. Most women will describe their relationship with their mother are having typical ups and downs. Have you ever wondered how to take your relationship to the next level, from ordinary to extraordinary? Read below for some helpful tips on improving the mother-daughter relationship.

Make a conscious choice to improve your relationship with your mother. This entails making the relationship more important than being right in an argument. Be willing to let go of the past and any reasons why an extraordinary relationship won’t work.

            Write down what you want in the relationship. Do you want to be best friends with your mom? Increase laughter? Have a stronger bond? By writing out a definition of what you want you will be clear on your goals.

            Don’t let others, including your mother; stop you from creating an extraordinary relationship. Even if your mother isn’t on board initially with your efforts, try not to get discouraged. With time and consistency, she will see you are committed to improving your relationship. Furthermore, don’t let others in your family influence you as they may not be open to your efforts at a better relationship with your mother. Don’t let yourself become victim to old family patterns (arguing, not speaking to each other, etc).

            Be willing to accept your part in the past. Accept responsibility for any pain you caused your mother in the past and apologize. Be willing to do this face to face. This will allow both of you to talk openly about your roles in past arguments. Move on from the past after this conversation.

            Stay present in the moment and be honest. This will help you stay neutral to experiences that would have caused you to become upset in the past. Remember, that everyone is doing the best they can with what they have learned in life so far. Keep this in mind as you begin to build a better relationship with your mom.

            Spend quality time with your mother. Do things together just the two of you. Go out to eat, go shopping or to the movies, cook together. Engage in activities your mother enjoys. This will further the bond you share.

            While this isn’t an easy process, you can achieve it. Remember, to show unconditional love, support, and commitment. If you or a family member is struggling to improve their relationship with their mother or daughter give the experts at Holtz Psychological Services a call. We are here to help!

Posted in Family & Parenting, Personal Growth, Relationships | No Comments »

Communication Skills 101

Wednesday, January 26th, 2011

            Typically, arguments and misunderstandings stem from a lack of effective communication. By developing better communication skills you will begin to see a change in your interpersonal relationships. Below are a few tips to get you started on the road to effective communication.

The first step to being a good communicator is being a better listener. Hear what the other person is saying without responding in a way that suggests otherwise. Don’t talk over the other person; this shows that you are not interested in what they are saying but rather have your own agenda.

After the other person is done speaking, take a moment to think about what they said. You don’t need to respond instantly once their last word is spoken. Stopping to reflect for a few seconds shows that you are processing what they said and taking it seriously. Then, try to reiterate what they said. Start with phrases such as “what I heard you say is….” Or “what I understood was….” This will then allow the other person to correct any misunderstandings in what you heard.

Don’t let distractions interfere with your conversation, especially an emotionally charged conversation. If the phone rings, let it go to voicemail, you can respond later to it. If the television is on, lower the volume or turn it off. This will send the message that you are taking the conversation seriously.

Try to look at it from the other person’s perspective. Think about the importance of the relationship you have with them (your significant other, your parent/child, your co-worker). Keep this in mind when communicating with them. Also, acknowledge and accept responsibility for your role in the situation. This will allow the other person to feel comfortable doing the same.

Always make eye contact. This shows that you are engaged in the conversation. Show you care through nonverbal means, nodding, a hand to the shoulder, etc.

Remember, to keep an open mind to whatever the other person expresses. Patience and understanding go a long way.

If you are having relationship troubles, call the relationship experts at Holtz Psychological Services NOW! Before things get worse, so you can make them better!

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